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Part 2: It Seems Shady...

I get this a lot.

Sometimes it's about me leaving. Sometimes, it's about the company I went to. Often times it's about what people heard about me from leaders and their corporate connections that didn't feel right.

So let's clarify why I was even willing to consider leaving and, ultimately, why I made this decision.

I grew fast in my first business. It was wild; it was fun, I had a massive group of women on my team who worked together, supported one another, and became a true community. I led with my heart and soul, which ultimately became the "name" of our team. Not everyone was running a big business or could run parties, but we loved what we had together, it was more than business, "we did life together." I trained and showed up constantly on our team page. I was appreciated and respected...which sounds great but it was the exact thing that made my decision to leave clear, whether or not others could understand it.

From the beginning of social media (I'm that old) I have understood the potential power of it and known how I would want to show up. Authentic, true, and helpful. We all know that there is a lot of BS in the world of social, I've always followed and been inspired by the good ones, though. I never wanted to be an influencer, or whatever we called it, before that was a term. I have always wanted to be influential, though. It's why I went into teaching, it's why I always took on leadership roles throughout life, and it's why I loved getting to lead a team and, ultimately supporting and encouraging many more. Social media is a love of mine because of how complicated it is. If you hate it, you need to shift what you're doing, who you're following, and what you're taking part in. There's a lot of beauty in it; I wanted to be part of the good, even if I only had 200 friends.

While I was most certainly the "cloth dealer" to many people, it wasn't the identity I wanted. It would never be the only thing I shared or talked about. I figured out ways to make online businesses work and I shared those ways with anyone who wanted them or needed direction. I trained at conferences, online, and privately. Through the power of social media, there is never a lacking, someone else's success means more social proof, with an abundance mindset this is a beautiful thing. Many companies are steeped in a fixed or scarcity mindset. It's something you don't even realize; it is hard to turn around.

I witnessed this at the very first conference I attended. I won't go into the details, but it was weird, to say the least. Later down the road, at another conference, I would be approached by a long time top leader and told I was non-compliant...a word I didn't even know at the time. That was a hard one; I had earned a top award and trained that weekend. I was still new to all this. It was upsetting and unsettling; I don't like when people are mad at me, I hate getting in trouble, and I don't want to do things wrong or be "non-compliant." She was not pleasant.

I witnessed leaders getting upset over how people shared online, getting into online arguments about whether it was "fair" for someone to use an influencer or be on the news. There were strict rules in place, but it was the arguments and concerns that confused me even more than the rules. I didn't understand why it mattered more to people what others did than it did what they could do.

I saw the need for change and I set out to create it. I worked with so many incredible people through my team, trainings, and training groups. I am most fulfilled when I am helping others; it's what I've now built my podcast, brand, and personal business on, connecting people with resources and helping them live out their goals. It started to become abundantly clear to me, though, that I could not change an entire company and all of the people in it. I thought I was that important at one point 😂, I did, I thought I was that influential and knowledgable, but it's business. It's a mindset. It's money.

Speaking of money, I wasn't making a lot. See that comp plan I didn't understand, it was not made for the business I had built. The biggest portion of leadership earnings were on a part of your organization called your personal group. These are all of the people in your organization who fall under you but have not been promoted to leadership or had anyone above them promoted to leadership. I developed leaders. I had the most leadership promotions on my team in the US the last year I was there. I brought this to the attention of influential people a number of times, and it made no sense to me. I was earning less as a top leader at one point than I did before that big and super special, jump to senior leadership. I was told to keep going and that in five years I'd be "earning more than I'd know what to do with." With those who were willing to be more honest, I was told I should stop helping so many promote to increase my group volume. I wouldn't, though, so if it was a contest between my income and others' success, I wanted them to win, I didn't need to make millions.

What was it taking, though? Rather than titles and compensation being based on volume and total sales, it was based on individuals keeping their accounts active. Obviously, the hope is that everyone would run parties and make lots of money, but that's never the case. When someone signs for a discount, they may try to earn, but ultimately they only want the discount. Or worse, t