Decision making as an adult is wild.
I’ve had to make a lot of big decisions in the last few years. I’ve gotten to experience many different ways that making a decision can impact myself or others. It’s helped me to better understand when others are up against them.
We know that we get one life. We know that our family’s, children, all the people around us get only one life. If you’ve committed to any kind of self discovery, hopefully you have learned that while everyone on Earth is going to have an opinion about any decision you make (from what to name a baby, to whether or not to dye your hair) that none of their opinions matter. Even if they are some of the most important people in your world.
Other’s opinions are based solely on their own experiences and what they see on the outside. They create their own plan for you, they try to fortune tell your life (with what they feel is your best interest at heart) and while that may well be based in their knowledge of you…no matter how close they are to you, it is only surface level at best. Here’s the kicker…when they tell you what they think, they can blow your mind up with their perspective, send you off on the wrong path or distract you for days (or forever)…and then go about their own life and decisions.
Decisions are hard. Decisions that impact your family can be absolutely paralyzing. When you’re worried about impact on others it can seem impossible. We have to make them though and while it may feel safe to reach out to others who care or know you to help you feel better about making them…the truth is that you are the only one who can figure that out. Just you.
The best way you can grow in this life is to start to trust yourself. Trust your own gut. Trust wherever you put your faith to help lead you in the right direction. Make the hard decisions based on YOU, based on your family, based on the people who rely on you. Nobody else can do that, nobody else can help you. Nobody else can understand. You may lose people. I promise that it will be ok.
The greatest freedom and growth comes from willfully taking responsibility for your decisions and your actions. Own them. Don’t look back. You can always make a new decision. I can promise you though, you’re never going to find a single one that everyone agrees on, you are not responsible for the emotional impact your decision has on someone’s day. You are only responsible for for yourself.