I Rarely Share the Struggle.

I talk about plenty of struggles, but the big ones…they’re harder to talk about. Sometimes out of respect for my private life, sometimes out of respect for others, sometimes because I’m afraid people don’t want to hear about that from me, and sometimes just because I know someone will personalize something that is not at all personal. My brain is constantly working to find the bigger lesson in small things, so I’m inspired regularly by everyday occurrences…and then I second guess whether it’s ok to talk about them. I’m also constantly encouraging others to press on and not worry about what others think, we all have this struggle when trying to grow. Especially if you are trying to grow a business or brand online. It’s a balance, and the reason I like to remind people that my online world is just a hallway, it’s where I encourage and share the things I learn from my own hard experiences. I rarely share the struggle, though.

All of this to say that, while it may not be exactly the struggle you’re most interested in hearing about, I want to be completely transparent about the struggles of starting a new business in the last 18 months.

If you aren’t caught up, I’m a mom of three who are now 5 (almost 6 😭), 8, and 10. Two boys and a girl in the middle. My husband is a captain on an Air Attack base for Cal Fire and the crazy, deep, complete love of my life. Up until two months ago, I spent roughly 70% of my life without him (21 years this month), 70% of my parenting alone, without family, and the other 30% was hard. I had anxiety about him going back to work because I never knew how long he’d be gone. I had anxiety about trying to fit a month of love and family time into just a few days. We struggled to find one another, we struggled to communicate. My kids and I lived with my parents on two separate occasions for an entire school year. It was a struggle. I’m sure I’ll share about it someday. I just want to be clear that my life is not as beautiful as my website and my Instagram. Those moments are real, they are as beautiful as they seem, they are the messages in the mess sometimes though. That is just the truth.

The struggle I’d like to share is regarding my business. I left a company as a top leader in February 2021, I was at the peak of my income, earning 6 figures. I had a large team of roughly 1,300. I had no intention of ever starting a network marketing business and once I became successful and was proud of the product I was sharing I had no intention of leaving…and if I did I did not ever want to do it again.

You see, direct sales, MLM, Network Marketing, whatever you want to call it…it’s hard. In some companies it is so hard, I still can’t wrap my head around how I managed it all. It’s a lie to say “you have nothing to lose,” “it’s so easy, the product sells itself,” “with only x hours/events/parties a week you can earn $$$.” I don’t think people are trying to be deceitful, they just get caught up in it all. The FTC now has many laws and rules around this kind of language, but it’s largely ignored, as I’m sure you’ve experienced. What’s worse is that I realized that I had started to do this. At the same time, I realized that I wasn’t earning what I was worth. I realized the struggle my team was facing and the time and effort they were putting in. For many people in this industry, this creates desperation and results in more claims about a financial future they aren't living, but rather desperately trying to maintain or build. I couldn’t do that.

So, despite loving so many people, feeling like I’d made a commitment, fear of backlash, and the obvious concern of losing a substantial income, I made a big decision, in a short amount of time, to leave and actually go work with another company.

See, I had big ideas for change. I wanted new directions, better tech, a company with a plan to fit into the mainstream, and the future of online sales. I was told it was not possible, but then I found it…by accident, just trying to support my cousin.